from the perspective of the Qadiriyyah wa Naqshbandiyyah Order
By Dr. H. Hery Saparudin, M.Pd.I.
Nur Ilahi
خَيْرُ النَّاسِ مَنْ مَلَكَ لِسَانَهُ
“The best of people are those who can govern their tongues.”
This opening statement is presented as a saying of wisdom. The source of its exact wording has not been verified; it is therefore neither attributed to the Prophet ﷺ nor identified as a hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari or Sahih Muslim. The hadith evidence used below is cited separately with its references.
When words become a trust
We may devise ambitious programmes, lead many people, and speak about goodness. Yet all of this calls for a willingness to guard our speech. A single unfounded accusation can undo years of trust. A demeaning remark can wound someone long after a meeting has ended.
This reflection invites everyone—leaders, administrators, educators, staff, members and fellow worshippers—to begin with themselves. Guarding the tongue means speaking truthfully, offering counsel with courtesy and having the courage to correct our own mistakes. In community life, responsible speech is part of the trust placed in us.
This counsel is directed first at ourselves. Before urging others to become more mindful, let us ensure that our own words make people feel safe, create room for improvement and do not sow hostility.
The Quran guides us towards truthful speech
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا
Meaning of Quran 33:70, Surah al-Ahzab: Believers, be mindful of Allah and speak words that are upright and true.
The following verse connects this obedience with the setting right of our deeds and Allah’s forgiveness (Quran 33:71). Upright speech is part of putting our lives in order. Reports should therefore reflect the facts, promises should take account of what we can fulfil and statements about others should rest on grounds we can substantiate.
وَلَا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا
Meaning of an excerpt from Quran 49:12, Surah al-Hujurat: Do not backbite one another.
This verse also warns against much suspicion and against spying on others. Within institutions and religious communities, we need to distinguish clarification from gossip. Clarification seeks facts to resolve a problem; gossip turns another person’s honour into a subject of conversation. Sensitive information should be shared with the appropriate people only to the extent necessary to address the matter.
Speak well or exercise restraint
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ
Meaning of a hadith excerpt: Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak what is good or remain silent. Narrated by Abu Hurayrah; Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 6018, and Sahih Muslim, no. 47a.
This teaching asks us to consider both the substance and the consequences of our words. When emotions run high, postponing a response may preserve a relationship. When the facts are unclear, admitting that we do not yet know is more honest than circulating assumptions. When injustice must be stopped, however, truthful and measured speech through the appropriate channels is itself an act of goodness.
A narration that awakens the conscience
Ibn Abbas narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ passed by two graves. He explained that both occupants were being punished; one had habitually spread malicious tales. This account appears in Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 6052. It reminds us that carrying words between people to provoke conflict can have grave consequences.
In daily life, malicious tale bearing can begin with fragments of a conversation stripped of context. A message is passed on with added assumptions, leaving its recipient feeling attacked. We should never make “someone said” the basis for accusation, punishment, or hostility. Verify the facts and hear the explanations of those concerned.
الْمُسْلِمُ مَنْ سَلِمَ الْمُسْلِمُونَ مِنْ لِسَانِهِ وَيَدِهِ
Meaning of a hadith excerpt : A Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand other Muslims are safe. Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr; Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 10.
This teaching deserves reflection at every level of responsibility. Do staff feel safe reporting a mistake ? Can colleagues disagree without being humiliated ? Are the least powerful members still treated with respect ? A position of authority creates opportunities to protect others and calls for greater self-restraint.
The wrong of belittling others
In a narration from Abu Hurayrah, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbade a Muslim from wronging, abandoning, or looking down on a fellow Muslim. He pointed to his chest when referring to the place of piety, then stressed the seriousness of treating another Muslim with contempt (Sahih Muslim, no. 2564a).
In the narration of Abdullah ibn Masud, arrogance is explained as rejecting the truth and despising people (Sahih Muslim, no. 91a). Willingness to accept correction is therefore an exercise in humility. Sound criticism deserves a hearing even when it comes from someone younger or less senior.
TQN and the discipline of guarding speech
In their literature study of TQN Suryalaya, Syukur and Rosyada (2023) discuss the relationship between dhikr, purity of heart and moral formation. In a qualitative study at MTs Serba Bakti Suryalaya, Syafe’i and Fauziyah (2020) examine the cultivation of spiritual attitudes through TQN education. These studies provide the context for spiritual education here; the discussion that follows is the author’s ethical application, rather than a quotation of devotional instructions from a spiritual guide.
Dhikr, the remembrance of Allah, calls the heart back to Him. This awareness should accompany us into meetings, classrooms, homes and digital conversations. Even after engaging in dhikr, we must examine our intentions; will these words help resolve the matter, or merely vent our frustration ? Does this advice arise from compassion, or from a desire to display our superiority ?
Muraqabah cultivates awareness that Allah knows our condition. Through this awareness, we learn to remain truthful even when no supervisor is watching and to protect another person’s honour even in a private chat group. Tazkiyat al-nafs, the purification of the self, requires us to work on the envy, anger and pride that so often drive harmful speech.
Muhasabah, self-examination, can begin by reviewing today’s conversations. Whom have our words hurt ? What information have we forwarded without checking ? Which promises remain unfulfilled ? Such questions should lead to action; correcting misinformation, improving how we speak and restoring the rights of those we have harmed.
Courtesy at every level of responsibility
For leaders, make correction proportionate and allow people to respond. Avoid turning someone’s mistake into a public spectacle. Firmness inspires greater trust when decisions have clear grounds and are applied fairly.
For administrators and members, report honestly, distinguish facts from opinions and do not build friendships by speaking ill of colleagues. For educators, correct learners’ behaviour without diminishing their dignity. For fellow worshippers, make gatherings a place where courtesy and fellowship can grow.
The duty to guard speech must never be used to silence reports of violence, fraud, or misconduct. Present evidence to the appropriate authorities, protect victims and avoid circulating identities or accusations beyond what the response requires. Courtesy belongs alongside justice and accountability.
Begin with the words we use today
Before speaking or sending a message, pause. Consider its truth, its usefulness and the appropriateness of its delivery. If you are unsure, seek clarification—tabayyun. If you are angry, regain your composure. If correction is necessary, identify the conduct that needs to change and give the person an opportunity to explain.
If we have caused harm, we should stop the wrongdoing and repent to Allah. Offer a thoughtful apology and repair the harm done. If an accusation has spread, correct it among those who received it. An apology should be accompanied by a change in conduct that others can recognise.
Let everyone take this counsel as an invitation to shared self-examination. Rank, academic titles and closeness to religious figures do not remove our duty to protect the dignity of others. May the dhikr we practise guide us towards truthful speech, humility and the courage to improve ourselves.
A guarded tongue makes room for truth to be spoken with courtesy. A heart continually nurtured learns to receive counsel without feeling that its dignity has been lost. In this way, fellowship can be sustained and the responsibilities entrusted to us fulfilled with greater care.
Closing supplication
اللَّهُمَّ طَهِّرْ قُلُوبَنَا، وَاحْفَظْ أَلْسِنَتَنَا،
وَأَصْلِحْ ذَاتَ بَيْنِنَا، وَاهْدِنَا لِأَحْسَنِ الْأَخْلَاقِ
Allah, purify our hearts, guard our tongues, mend our relationships and guide us to the finest character. Amin.
This is a general supplication composed for this reflection, rather than a quotation of a single specific hadith.
References
The Quran : Surah al-Ahzab, 33:70–71; Surah al-Hujurat, 49:12. Arabic texts: https://quran.com/33/70-71 and https://quran.com/49/12. English renderings in this reflection convey the meanings.
The hadith references below follow the numbering used on Sunnah.com; numbering may differ between editions. Arabic quotations in the main text are identified as excerpts and the grave narration is presented as a summary.
Al-Bukhari, Muhammad ibn Ismail. Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Faith, no. 10. Narrator: Abdullah ibn Amr. Subject: Safety from harm caused by the tongue and hand. https://sunnah.com/bukhari:10
Al-Bukhari. Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Good Manners, no. 6018. Narrator: Abu Hurayrah. Subject: speaking well or remaining silent. https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6018
Al-Bukhari. Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Good Manners, no. 6052. Narrator: Abdullah ibn Abbas. Subject: The two graves and the danger of malicious tale bearing. https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6052
Muslim ibn al-Hajjaj. Sahih Muslim, Book of Faith, no. 47a. Narrator: Abu Hurayrah. Subject: Speaking well or remaining silent. https://sunnah.com/muslim:47a
Muslim. Sahih Muslim, Book of Faith, no. 91a. Narrator: Abdullah ibn Masud. Subject: the meaning of arrogance. https://sunnah.com/muslim:91a
Muslim. Sahih Muslim, Book of Virtue, Enjoining Good Manners, and Joining the Ties of Kinship, no. 2564a. Narrator : Abu Hurayrah. Subject : The prohibition of despising a fellow Muslim. https://sunnah.com/muslim:2564a
Syukur, Agus, & Dede Rosyada. (2023). Pemikiran Pendidikan Akhlak Tasawuf dalam Ajaran Tarekat Qadiriyyah wa Naqsyabandiyyah Suryalaya [Sufi moral education in the teachings of the Qadiriyyah wa Naqshbandiyyah Order of Suryalaya]. JOUSIP: Journal of Sufism and Psychotherapy, 3(2). https://doi.org/10.28918/jousip.v3i2.1978
Syafe’i, Isop & Ai Samrotul Fauziyah. (2020). Pembinaan Sikap Spiritual Keagamaan melalui Pembelajaran Tarekat Qadiriyah Naqsabandiyah [Cultivating religious and spiritual attitudes through Qadiriyyah Naqshbandiyyah education]. Tadrib : Jurnal Pendidikan Agama Islam, 6(1), 41–61. https://doi.org/10.19109/tadrib.v6i1.5183
Online sources were checked for the Indonesian edition on 2 November 2026. The literature study and qualitative research cited here inform the discussion; they do not establish that every practitioner automatically undergoes moral change.
TM/Rulli.